I was wearing no name dress, Sisley bag, Asos sandals, Stradivarius necklace, Meli Melo sunglasses, and MAC lipstick
Today’s motto: “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
Mountains, clean air, fire burning in the chimney, wine, rummy and friends, can ask for more? I disconnected from my thoughts, finally, the snow and cold wind made impossible the union with my imaginary bitterness that gives me the impression that masters me. I’m thinking about him, on the run … Somehow he came out of my system, maybe because I over analyzed all the conversations with him, and noticed what he was clearly telling me or maybe because I had a dose of him which was more than enough, and that made me realize he wasn’t what I’ve hoped he will be. The reason is irrelevant, relevant is that I don’t feel subjugated by a sense of abandonment and neglect.
I denied the obvious, because then it hurt bad, but I am more relaxed now. Staying at Severin stirred me a little, and yet put other thoughts into motion. I finally understood that when you have expectations, you always risk to be disappointed, then I assimilated also that runing does not solve anything. There is no place to flee from yourself. The fire burns with power in the fireplace and it must not exceed 60 degrees for some reason, the villa where we stayed in Retezat is comfortable and welcoming. Tomorrow we go through the mountains, and I’ll be refreshed and ready to go back home, to my bed, my home life, home beside him